Ah, the 30th of August! That magical time when the miserable British summer gives way to the miserable British autumn (I have no idea when the official beginning of autumn is, but since I was a kid I've divided the seasons into December-January-February, March-April-May, June-July-August and September-October-November and I'm sticking with it no matter what the rest of the world thinks. Take that, social convention!)
And when I realise I only have four days until the start of Year Twelve.
So, with that in mind, I figured I should share some of the amusing, strange, unexpectedly happy-making, and downright stupid things that happened to me or that I have witnessed since the end of Y11.
In no particular order, we have:
1) That time in the Florida Mall food court with the Hufflepuff guy.
Dad and I were waiting for Mum to leave the toilets when this guy (or at least, someone I assume was a guy) walks past us in Hufflepuff robes. The two people he's with are just dressed normally, so I'll never know exactly why he was dressed in Hufflepuff robes, but this guy is my hero.
2) Slothgirl!
Long story short, my natural laziness led to my mother and I creating the concept of a new superhero named Slothgirl, who was bitten by a radioactive sloth. Her powers are mainly limited to being 'faster than a speeding snail' and being able to hang upside down from things, and I'm pretty sure regular people don't have this kind of conversation.
3) Molly Encrypted versus the Turnstiles Of Death.
In a recurring display of ineptitude, I kept forgetting how turnstiles work and got bruised because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING! Me as an adult will be a disaster. I'm old enough to join the army, but I can't get through turnstiles without injury.
4) Soyuz the Dancing Space Hamster.
Proof that nothing that comes out of my brain makes any sense whatsoever. Soyuz was a character in a dream I had in which my newly-adopted dancing hamster got to go to the Moon (complete with little spacesuit!) whilst my mission gets scrubbed. Perhaps Soyuz would make a good sidekick for Slothgirl?
5) Playing Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock with a scuba diver.
International Drive now has a Sea Life centre, and at one point in our visit (on the final day of the trip) two scuba divers are in the tank and one of them floats over to me and challenges me through the glass to Rock-Paper-Scissors. My dad tells me to do Spock, making it into the version popularised by The Big Bang Theory. She played Paper, meaning I technically lost, but I made her underwater-laugh, so I felt like a winner.
6) Dumb things people say in theme parks.
Universal Studios and Islands Of Adventure can collectively be described as 'Nerdvana with rides'. Between them, they have a whole zone dedicated to Marvel (which, ironically, is owned by Disney), two different Harry Potter areas (one in Universal, one in Islands Of Adventure, and connected by the closest thing Muggles will ever get to the actual Hogwarts Express - and if you haven't been on that thing in both directions you have not lived because it is the coolest thing ever), and a whole lot of merch for assorted fandoms that have no connection whatsoever to anything else in the park and very little, if any, to Universal.
And that, of course, is enough to grate on your geeky nerves when people look at/for something and you realise they have no idea what they're talking about.
These encounters range from the vaguely forgivable to the physically painful, but soon enough your righteous condemnation will give way to mocking condemnation and you can laugh at them, so it's not all bad.
The entry-level merch fail is something like this: you're in one of the many HP gift shops and your ears pick up the sound of two people attempting to find a copy of the Marauder's Map without knowing what it's called and so they've resorted to trying to describe it to each other in a way that makes it entirely clear that they've almost certainly only ever seen parts of the films, weren't rally paying attention to them, and are possibly illiterate because THE NAME IS PRINTED ON IT IN BLOCK CAPITALS MUCH LIKE THESE ONES! Meanwhile, you're fighting the urge to scream. Filthy Muggles.
Then there's the 'I know nothing at all about biology, superheroes or popular TV sitcoms, so instead I'll have a random guess at who this person might be' merch fail, like when some guy is looking at the magnet you just considered a second ago and saying 'look at the alien superhero guy!'. Who was on the magnet? Rajesh Koothrappali. You can hear Sheldon's disgust.
Still, neither of those are quite as horrendous as the time a year or so ago when, as we left Disney's Tattooine Traders, Mum overheard a guy indicate the sign and say 'look, you can get tattoos in there!' I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN STAR WARS AND I UNDERSTAND THAT THAT WAS A REFERENCE!
Sure, all these fails make me gnash my teeth, but they also make me laugh (at others because I'm a terrible person), so I guess it's all good?
7) Wolfstar.
When my mother found out I ship this (or more precisely, when she found out what it actually is) her response was 'Lupin and Sirius? Why?' and I could not give her an answer. I have no idea why I ship them. It just sort of...works. Ship happens, I guess. That's just the way of the world. But still...WHY DO I SHIP THIS? WHY DOES IT MAKE SO MUCH SENSE? WHY?
8) Gabriel is my guardian angel
In Florida, four rides broke down JUST as I was at the end. Some people were still stuck mid-ride, but my fmily and I were either just about to get off or almost at the point where you get off. We may well have a guardian angel, but I pointed out that aforementioned angel must like to mess with us. Then I realised that this angel was probably Gabriel. Thanks, Gabe!
That's all today, folks! Should anything else weird happen in the next few days, or I remember any more holiday anecdotes, I'll be making a part 2 of this!
Sunday, 30 August 2015
Thursday, 27 August 2015
Calling Planet Earth
I'm willing to bet that, at first glance, I'm exactly like anyone reading this.
I eat, breathe, sleep, just like everyone else.
I hate waking up in the mornings.
I'm a massive fangirl (and if you're looking at this thinking 'so not me' then you're lying. Everyone's a massive fan of something or someone) and colossal nerd (not applicable to everyone).
I like listening to music and watching TV.
Just like you.
Except I'm not. Not entirely.
Because I have Asperger's.
This post is me trying to explain a little about how that affects me.
If the first time you heard about AS was in the first episode of Glee's third season, then get out. Just kidding, please stay. In all honesty, though, forget that first impression. I'm under no illusions that all autistic people are perfectly delightful and not at all rude or self-centred like Sugar, but I think that when we are it's probably more Sheldon Cooper than Sugar Motta. The trait is probably born out of those with AS not being hardwired to understand social cues (I'm hardly an expert though, and I don't claim to be; all I'm doing is going by my own experiences and what I've read in the books my parents have on the subject) and not fully understanding that what they're saying might be considered offensive. But (and I'm looking directly at everyone involved in the creation of Sugar Motta here) there is a difference between being blunt and insulting people.
A common misconception is that all people with AS are geniuses. Not true. Not everyone is affected in the same way. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, but I'm not going to try and explain any further because, like I said, I'm really not am expert. Do you know everything about how being allistic(1) affects you? I'm a teenager, not a neuroscientist!(2) (I prefer forensics and quantum theory anyway.)
But I digress. This was supposed to be an essay (cue groaning from the back - I know, I hate essays too) on how my autism affects me. Still, this little bit of (possibly inaccurate) background may be helpful when reading!
I should start by explaining a bit about my personality, and I'll do that by listing fictional characters I relate to, because, as previously mentioned, I'm a fangirl. And it should be easier.
I've always seen a sort of mirror of myself in Sheldon and Amy from The Big Bang Theory. Both are intelligent, but he's incredibly idiosyncratic(3) and she alternates between insecurity (the episode where she feels like Penny and Bernadette have abandoned her actually made me cry because that's honestly the way I feel a lot of the time) and confidence, between being well-adjusted to society and sticking out like a sore thumb (why do we even say that?), and I also see a lot of myself in Supernatural's Castiel - understanding things our friends and families don't but having absolutely no idea how humans function (I spent my trip to Florida being wounded by turnstiles and I can't order in McDonald's).
And there's a fourth - Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter. And she's probably a better description of me than anyone else. She's in Ravenclaw, so she must be smart, but she shows a lot of creativity as well (another Ravenclaw trait, further confirming my House identity). She always seems somehow disconnected from reality, with one foot in the real world and one in a daydream. She's the only one of what I consider to be the core members of Dumbledore's Army to not be in Gryffindor, and she really doesn't care that other people might find her behaviour weird, and she's still a very compassionate, fair human being.
You just read all that thinking 'but what does this have to do with AS?' Well, if you look at those last two paragraphs properly it tells you how it affects me. I'm smart but inept, and very picky about how I want things, and I often feel like I don't completely fit in, and all of those can be attributed to AS. But I'm proud to be me, and I genuinely care about other people. (I'm actually not a sociopath.)
Many of the above traits are quite typical for someone with autism or are a common stereotype (look at me, breaking the mould!(4)), but, as previously mentioned, everyone is different. Like others, I sometimes enjoy the sensation of pressure, and I experience obsessions. I can't control these, and they frequently annoy the people around me, but it's a fact of life. I'm not alone. However, whilst most people with AS appear to have factual obsessions, mine are typically rooted in fictional worlds. That's the way it's been since I was a little girl, although my early years were always marked with an extreme love for sea creatures that continued until very recently. (There's a reason people started calling me 'Molphin'.) Aside from the fishy thing, my obsessions typically last around six months. Sometimes less, and sometimes I retain an interest in something even after the main obsession fades, but that's the usual pattern. I also have a gift for the English language. In actual fact, I was never actually taught to read. I just could one day, and apparently it really freaked my mum out! It's called hyperlexia, and whilst I'm not entirely sure it's a result of my autism, there's probably a connection somewhere.
I differ from the stereotypical 'pattern' in other ways too. I never liked trains much and I'm okay with physical contact provided it's with someone I a) know, b) trust, and c) like. So I'm very tactile with my mum, friends, and assorted relatives, but not with strangers (the tour guide with us when I went to Kennedy Space Center creeped me out so much), people who've upset me or annoy me, or those people at family reunions. You know the sort - the kind that you can't remember ever meeting in your life but who are apparently related to you and so you have to be nice to them.
But it doesn't matter how I'm similar or different from you. I think that, deep down, we're all made of the same stuff. All I ask is that you treat me, and others vaguely like me, with the same sort of respect you'd treat others.
Because, for all my jokes to the contrary, I'm still human. Just like you.
(1)non-autistic
(2)if this is the wrong word, then here you go, more proof of my non-expertness!
(3)http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/idiosyncrasy (it's hard to explain)
(4)I might struggle to pick up on sarcasm when you use it sometimes, but I'm very good at wielding it myself!
I eat, breathe, sleep, just like everyone else.
I hate waking up in the mornings.
I'm a massive fangirl (and if you're looking at this thinking 'so not me' then you're lying. Everyone's a massive fan of something or someone) and colossal nerd (not applicable to everyone).
I like listening to music and watching TV.
Just like you.
Except I'm not. Not entirely.
Because I have Asperger's.
This post is me trying to explain a little about how that affects me.
If the first time you heard about AS was in the first episode of Glee's third season, then get out. Just kidding, please stay. In all honesty, though, forget that first impression. I'm under no illusions that all autistic people are perfectly delightful and not at all rude or self-centred like Sugar, but I think that when we are it's probably more Sheldon Cooper than Sugar Motta. The trait is probably born out of those with AS not being hardwired to understand social cues (I'm hardly an expert though, and I don't claim to be; all I'm doing is going by my own experiences and what I've read in the books my parents have on the subject) and not fully understanding that what they're saying might be considered offensive. But (and I'm looking directly at everyone involved in the creation of Sugar Motta here) there is a difference between being blunt and insulting people.
A common misconception is that all people with AS are geniuses. Not true. Not everyone is affected in the same way. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, but I'm not going to try and explain any further because, like I said, I'm really not am expert. Do you know everything about how being allistic(1) affects you? I'm a teenager, not a neuroscientist!(2) (I prefer forensics and quantum theory anyway.)
But I digress. This was supposed to be an essay (cue groaning from the back - I know, I hate essays too) on how my autism affects me. Still, this little bit of (possibly inaccurate) background may be helpful when reading!
I should start by explaining a bit about my personality, and I'll do that by listing fictional characters I relate to, because, as previously mentioned, I'm a fangirl. And it should be easier.
I've always seen a sort of mirror of myself in Sheldon and Amy from The Big Bang Theory. Both are intelligent, but he's incredibly idiosyncratic(3) and she alternates between insecurity (the episode where she feels like Penny and Bernadette have abandoned her actually made me cry because that's honestly the way I feel a lot of the time) and confidence, between being well-adjusted to society and sticking out like a sore thumb (why do we even say that?), and I also see a lot of myself in Supernatural's Castiel - understanding things our friends and families don't but having absolutely no idea how humans function (I spent my trip to Florida being wounded by turnstiles and I can't order in McDonald's).
And there's a fourth - Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter. And she's probably a better description of me than anyone else. She's in Ravenclaw, so she must be smart, but she shows a lot of creativity as well (another Ravenclaw trait, further confirming my House identity). She always seems somehow disconnected from reality, with one foot in the real world and one in a daydream. She's the only one of what I consider to be the core members of Dumbledore's Army to not be in Gryffindor, and she really doesn't care that other people might find her behaviour weird, and she's still a very compassionate, fair human being.
You just read all that thinking 'but what does this have to do with AS?' Well, if you look at those last two paragraphs properly it tells you how it affects me. I'm smart but inept, and very picky about how I want things, and I often feel like I don't completely fit in, and all of those can be attributed to AS. But I'm proud to be me, and I genuinely care about other people. (I'm actually not a sociopath.)
Many of the above traits are quite typical for someone with autism or are a common stereotype (look at me, breaking the mould!(4)), but, as previously mentioned, everyone is different. Like others, I sometimes enjoy the sensation of pressure, and I experience obsessions. I can't control these, and they frequently annoy the people around me, but it's a fact of life. I'm not alone. However, whilst most people with AS appear to have factual obsessions, mine are typically rooted in fictional worlds. That's the way it's been since I was a little girl, although my early years were always marked with an extreme love for sea creatures that continued until very recently. (There's a reason people started calling me 'Molphin'.) Aside from the fishy thing, my obsessions typically last around six months. Sometimes less, and sometimes I retain an interest in something even after the main obsession fades, but that's the usual pattern. I also have a gift for the English language. In actual fact, I was never actually taught to read. I just could one day, and apparently it really freaked my mum out! It's called hyperlexia, and whilst I'm not entirely sure it's a result of my autism, there's probably a connection somewhere.
I differ from the stereotypical 'pattern' in other ways too. I never liked trains much and I'm okay with physical contact provided it's with someone I a) know, b) trust, and c) like. So I'm very tactile with my mum, friends, and assorted relatives, but not with strangers (the tour guide with us when I went to Kennedy Space Center creeped me out so much), people who've upset me or annoy me, or those people at family reunions. You know the sort - the kind that you can't remember ever meeting in your life but who are apparently related to you and so you have to be nice to them.
But it doesn't matter how I'm similar or different from you. I think that, deep down, we're all made of the same stuff. All I ask is that you treat me, and others vaguely like me, with the same sort of respect you'd treat others.
Because, for all my jokes to the contrary, I'm still human. Just like you.
(1)non-autistic
(2)if this is the wrong word, then here you go, more proof of my non-expertness!
(3)http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/idiosyncrasy (it's hard to explain)
(4)I might struggle to pick up on sarcasm when you use it sometimes, but I'm very good at wielding it myself!
Saturday, 1 August 2015
In Which I Am Confused By Everything
I've been told I have a fast processing speed (hence my unintelligible speech, apparently), a scientific mind (true) and a 'sparkly brain' (whatever that's supposed to mean). In other words, I'm smart.
I'm also (to quote Sheldon Cooper's mother) 'dumb as soup'. Everything confuses me! Sometimes it's because I overthink things. Other times I'm just being really, really dense.
I have a basic understanding of quantum theory but I'm still not completely sure how to order in McDonalds.
I have been known to get marjoram and marijuana mixed up in my head.
I couldn't tell the time until a few years ago, when everyone else my age had long since figured it out.
What I'm trying to say is this: sometimes I have flashes of brilliant genius, but more often than not what I am about to do or say is mind-blowingly stupid.
I'm also (to quote Sheldon Cooper's mother) 'dumb as soup'. Everything confuses me! Sometimes it's because I overthink things. Other times I'm just being really, really dense.
I have a basic understanding of quantum theory but I'm still not completely sure how to order in McDonalds.
I have been known to get marjoram and marijuana mixed up in my head.
I couldn't tell the time until a few years ago, when everyone else my age had long since figured it out.
What I'm trying to say is this: sometimes I have flashes of brilliant genius, but more often than not what I am about to do or say is mind-blowingly stupid.
So without further ado, here is a sample of the everyday things that reduce me to a gibbering pile of 'WTF?' as the rest of the world accepts their existence and moves on with its collective day.
1) Kale
It's healthy, it's digestible, it's approved of by Misha Collins...pretty great, right? I should feel good about it! Except it is leafy and green, and I just don't do leafy and green. In my experience, leafy and green means disgusting, but I don't know if kale is disgusting until I try it, and I'm not having my dad purchase something that is, in all likelihood, Satan's shrubbery just to see if I like it. If I do, great! If not, I'll still have to eat it because I insisted we buy it. And so I find myself standing in a cafeteria, staring at one of the meals on offer debating whether or not I like kale enough to order it rather than just getting something I definitely liked, no questions asked.
It's healthy, it's digestible, it's approved of by Misha Collins...pretty great, right? I should feel good about it! Except it is leafy and green, and I just don't do leafy and green. In my experience, leafy and green means disgusting, but I don't know if kale is disgusting until I try it, and I'm not having my dad purchase something that is, in all likelihood, Satan's shrubbery just to see if I like it. If I do, great! If not, I'll still have to eat it because I insisted we buy it. And so I find myself standing in a cafeteria, staring at one of the meals on offer debating whether or not I like kale enough to order it rather than just getting something I definitely liked, no questions asked.
2) 90% of adverts.
We've all seen them. Adverts that depict takeaways that arrive so rapidly the buyer and his girlfriend have enough time to strip and get changed again without the poor delivery guy getting a flash of undies. Insurance commercials that decide that the best way to show how awesome they are is to have a fat, pig-like goblin thing reading the newspaper as it urinates in the face of a guy in the bath, only to explode in a sudden puff of feathers to reveal what can only be the unholy offspring of a teddy bear and a puppy that talks in the most annoying voice known to mankind. What the hell, advertisers?
Whilst most people just tune it out, blindly accept it, or (in some cases) actually understand it, I'm left looking helplessly at the TV with questions no-one can answer. How does showing what could be a lengthy process indicate the speed of your delivery service? Just what kind of hellspawn is that thing? (And also, Beagle Street, why have that abomination representing your firm in televised propaganda when you could have something logical like, I don't know, a beagle?) What the Hell is going on here?
We've all seen them. Adverts that depict takeaways that arrive so rapidly the buyer and his girlfriend have enough time to strip and get changed again without the poor delivery guy getting a flash of undies. Insurance commercials that decide that the best way to show how awesome they are is to have a fat, pig-like goblin thing reading the newspaper as it urinates in the face of a guy in the bath, only to explode in a sudden puff of feathers to reveal what can only be the unholy offspring of a teddy bear and a puppy that talks in the most annoying voice known to mankind. What the hell, advertisers?
Whilst most people just tune it out, blindly accept it, or (in some cases) actually understand it, I'm left looking helplessly at the TV with questions no-one can answer. How does showing what could be a lengthy process indicate the speed of your delivery service? Just what kind of hellspawn is that thing? (And also, Beagle Street, why have that abomination representing your firm in televised propaganda when you could have something logical like, I don't know, a beagle?) What the Hell is going on here?
3) The Simpsons (or, more precisely, their kids)
This one came to mind a moment ago. Ever noticed how Bart, Lisa and Maggie all have hair that blends seamlessly into their skulls whereas every other character, including other blondes, has a clearly-defined hairline and some variation in shade from their absurd, minion-esque skin tone? Why?
And also, how can the spawn of a guy with brown hair and a woman with blue hair be all blondes? Even if we accept the hypothesis that both Homer and Marge carry a recessive allele for blonde hair, the odds of all three children being heterozygous for this allele is about one in sixteen. Unlikely. (It's kind of disturbing what I can think of when it's late at night and I'm searching for examples of my eternal confusion)
This one came to mind a moment ago. Ever noticed how Bart, Lisa and Maggie all have hair that blends seamlessly into their skulls whereas every other character, including other blondes, has a clearly-defined hairline and some variation in shade from their absurd, minion-esque skin tone? Why?
And also, how can the spawn of a guy with brown hair and a woman with blue hair be all blondes? Even if we accept the hypothesis that both Homer and Marge carry a recessive allele for blonde hair, the odds of all three children being heterozygous for this allele is about one in sixteen. Unlikely. (It's kind of disturbing what I can think of when it's late at night and I'm searching for examples of my eternal confusion)
4) The future of the Simpsons
In multiple episodes we see glimpses of a future world in which Lisa is married to Milhouse, Bart is divorced and a deadbeat, and Maggie just won't shut up. Yet, in all those years the show has been on air, no-one has aged a day. When is this future? How will it be reached? Is it achievable? Just what is going on here?
In multiple episodes we see glimpses of a future world in which Lisa is married to Milhouse, Bart is divorced and a deadbeat, and Maggie just won't shut up. Yet, in all those years the show has been on air, no-one has aged a day. When is this future? How will it be reached? Is it achievable? Just what is going on here?
5) Purgatory
I don't mean the religious one, I mean the Supernatural one. It's been established that it's pretty difficult to get in or out of the place. The souls only get out when a certain ritual is performed at an eclipse. Cas and Dean only get in when Dick Roman explodes all over them.
So how did Heaven's forces get in to retrieve Cas, as Naomi says they did?
I'll just go ahead and assume they didn't get into Monster Heaven via mass-suicide, because a) we have no proof dead angels go to Purgatory (although it's a reasonable hypothesis (and my personal headcanon) because they have to go somewhere), and b) the retrieval of Castiel implies they also got out. Kinda hard to do if you're dead.
The eclipse has been and gone (of course, they could have gotten Death to cause yet another, but by this point I'm pretty sure the guy's just completely done with angelic bullshit because this is really not his job) and I doubt they have the power or weaponry necessary to blow up another Leviathan or coerce the necessary beings into giving blood for the Purgatory-opening spell.
And if they just flew in, this opens up a bunch of other plot-holes. The entire sixth season now becomes completely irrelevant, because, rather than have Samuel Campbell and the Winchesters tracking down all those Alpha monsters and torturing them for info, Crowley could have just had Cas fly through, collect the souls, and leave again. (This would, presumably, also have prevented our favourite little angel in a trenchcoat from gulping down all those Leviathans, rendering the seventh season also nonexistent and saving the fandom (and Dean) a lot of heartache as we watch poor sweet Castiel become taken over by Leviathan, walk into the lake, and then come back to life as a married amnesiac.) So what exactly happened? And how?
I don't mean the religious one, I mean the Supernatural one. It's been established that it's pretty difficult to get in or out of the place. The souls only get out when a certain ritual is performed at an eclipse. Cas and Dean only get in when Dick Roman explodes all over them.
So how did Heaven's forces get in to retrieve Cas, as Naomi says they did?
I'll just go ahead and assume they didn't get into Monster Heaven via mass-suicide, because a) we have no proof dead angels go to Purgatory (although it's a reasonable hypothesis (and my personal headcanon) because they have to go somewhere), and b) the retrieval of Castiel implies they also got out. Kinda hard to do if you're dead.
The eclipse has been and gone (of course, they could have gotten Death to cause yet another, but by this point I'm pretty sure the guy's just completely done with angelic bullshit because this is really not his job) and I doubt they have the power or weaponry necessary to blow up another Leviathan or coerce the necessary beings into giving blood for the Purgatory-opening spell.
And if they just flew in, this opens up a bunch of other plot-holes. The entire sixth season now becomes completely irrelevant, because, rather than have Samuel Campbell and the Winchesters tracking down all those Alpha monsters and torturing them for info, Crowley could have just had Cas fly through, collect the souls, and leave again. (This would, presumably, also have prevented our favourite little angel in a trenchcoat from gulping down all those Leviathans, rendering the seventh season also nonexistent and saving the fandom (and Dean) a lot of heartache as we watch poor sweet Castiel become taken over by Leviathan, walk into the lake, and then come back to life as a married amnesiac.) So what exactly happened? And how?
6) Concert audiences
Who exactly starts the synchronised clapping or waving? How do they know when to stop or change? Has anyone ever started clapping or waving only to be left looking like an idiot as no-one else joins in? How does this whole system work?
Who exactly starts the synchronised clapping or waving? How do they know when to stop or change? Has anyone ever started clapping or waving only to be left looking like an idiot as no-one else joins in? How does this whole system work?
This is by no means a comprehensive list. This is merely a sample.
There are actually quite a few everyday things - like what to do with expired debit cards - that make me just stand there awkwardly and rely on my mother for instructions.
So yeah.
There are actually quite a few everyday things - like what to do with expired debit cards - that make me just stand there awkwardly and rely on my mother for instructions.
So yeah.
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