Britain, Explained By A Brit

So, I found this list of things we Brits don't realise are weird, and have decided to publish an explanation. I don't know why, but this is important to me. And I don't want to leave a comment on the site and Tumblr's being weird, and I'm not using Facebook.

1. I have no idea what's going on here.
2. This is a thing that we do? I mean 'Hi, you okay?' is a sentence - you're greeting a person and asking about their wellbeing. Does anyone use 'you okay?' as a greeting? Is this a weird regional thing?
3. There is nothing stopping us making a PB&J, except the J is for 'jam' because jelly is that weird gross wet wobbly crap you put fruit in and/or serve to children.
4. We know that's weird.
5. Because we're organised. Unless the queue is for lunch in my sixth-form's brasserie, where groups of people will stand near the end of the queue but not in the queue so you stand behind them for ages before realising that they aren't the queue. Maybe it's a social-cues thing.
6. Yes, it is. Ice-cream is also a pudding. Bizarrely, Yorkshire pudding and black pudding are not. Most Brits don't seem to be aware of the fact that we are possibly the only country that uses 'pudding' and 'dessert' as synonyms.
7. We do have those blendy taps. However, most sinks and baths in public places, schools etc still seem to have the old lava-and-freezy types. As do some domestic ones. Presumably, the non-household ones are still there because councils are too cheap to replace them.
8. Yes it should, but I've only ever seen this weirdness in train stations. I've been in plenty of free public toilets.
9. We do? GOD! Baked beans are gross.
10. We have scampi. There are options besides fish and scampi? In restaurants we have lemon and salmon and stuff, and we have sushi bars, but you won't find that stuff in the chippy. Why would you? I don't understand what you're saying.
11. Where else would we...oh. That is weird. I've been in houses that have the washing machine in another room, but I always thought that was weird. Not everybody has a laundry room, guys.
12. Do you mean chips as in potato chips or chips as in 'fish and'? Either way, it's a national institution. And it's delicious.
13. NOPE.
14. The paper crowns come from the crackers. And why don't you guys have them? They're super fun! You get a shitty joke to mock mercilessly, a dumb crown to make your grouchy relatives wear or shove on your head and declare yourself ruler of everything or just wear and smile, and either a toy to placate children with or a useful item or a necklace or a chocolate or something (depending on the demographic being targeted) and I don't get why these aren't a thing elsewhere.
15. Yeah, we don't get that either. Apparently it's to promote discipline or to stop kids getting picked on for not having expensive fashionable clothes. All it really does is cause a headache for lower-income parents who can't keep up with changes to ludicrously-expensive uniforms. Plus bullies will just pick on kids for lisping or having a disability or crying in public or not conforming to gender norms or just being weird or whatever else so it's not like a uniform solves that problem.
16. I guess the butter helps the filling stick to the bread? Also it's fucking delicious. You guys don't do this?
17. I have no idea what this means. *googling* I think it was for Rule of Funny? Maybe?
18. I don't even know. I don't like cricket. They have invented a short version called T-20 that takes a specified amount of time rather than going on for days on end and apparently that's more fast-paced and enjoyable. But I don't like cricket unless I'm bowling and get to lob the ball really hard at somebody.
19. Why do you call them chips and not crisps? They're crispy. And the standard shape of crisp is more of a flake than a chip. We aren't the only ones with an illogical language.
20. I don't like hot drinks, but a hot drink will decrease the temperature difference between your body and the outside world.
21. 'Shit' is bad but 'the shit' is good. You guys use that one, right? See item #19.
22. Kangaroos will kill you. So will koalas. The seas are full of scary things like box jellyfish, which will kill you. There is a song about things in Australia that will kill you. Even the trees want you dead. And we clearly didn't want our criminals in the same hemisphere as us, let alone the same country. (Actually, I think part of it was letting them start new lives? That's easier in Ye Olde Australia than Ye Olde Liverpool.)

So, America, I have some questions for you:

1. Why do you call jam jelly?
2. Why do you have those massive gaps in your toilet doors?
3. The chips/crisp thing - what's up with it?.
4. Why don't you do Christmas crackers? They're fun and they're an opportunity for profit! You'd think someone would have jumped on this. You guys have a businessman as your president now.
5. Why don't you butter your sandwiches?
6. Why is your smallest portion size still a little too big for one person to eat?
7. The fish thing from #10.
8. Item #21.
9. Why baseball is a national institution. It's basically rounders.
10. Why college sports teams are a big deal.
11. Why do you call football 'soccer'? And why is your 'football' a bunch of people playing rugby in body armour? And why are you allowed to use your hands?